Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
