She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize
