Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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