oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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