Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
