People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
