The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you never un-have a 4some
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I love you. Go after that dick
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
