wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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