i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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