we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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