Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
