She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
