I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
