Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
