I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
