Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Farmville is her only friend.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
