i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
