and you said cock pushups were impossible
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
