Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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