Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
