your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You took a bar mat shot.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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