The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
