I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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