i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
