Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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