I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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