yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
