just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
