i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
