You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
