"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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