someone get that fucking seahorse.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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