what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
