Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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