So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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