If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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