I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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