Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
