going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We are two peas in an std pod
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
