So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
