My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
