last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Success! We fucked roommates!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
