And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
