My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
