..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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