I want to make a zoo with you.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
