Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm both gender and math confused
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
