hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
