i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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