Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
