Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
