wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
