3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
