I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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