He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
