"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
How does one acquire holy water?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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