Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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